The Family Table
1 Corinthians 5:11 - “But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler, not even to eat with such a one.”
Read Paul’s next instruction slowly, and watch for the surprise tucked into the middle of it. He tells the church not to keep close company “with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler, not even to eat with such a one.” We read a list like that and our eyes go straight for the dramatic sins, the ones that make headlines. But look again at the company they keep: greed, and reviling, which is just an old word for tearing people apart with your mouth, and swindling. The respectable sins are sitting right there next to the scandalous ones, and Paul doesn’t rank them.
There’s a second thing here we tend to miss. The whole instruction targets someone “who bears the name of brother.” This is about a person who claims the name of Christ, sits in the pew, calls himself family, and yet lives in open, settled sin he refuses to turn from. The family has a standard the surrounding world does not, and it applies precisely because these are family. These are house rules, and house rules are for the household.
See, we are usually loudest about the sins we don’t struggle with, and quietest about the ones we do. It’s easy to be appalled at the scandal in the church down the road. It costs us nothing. It might even feel good. But Paul has tucked greed and a cutting tongue and quiet dishonesty into the very same list, which means the gossip in our own small group and the grasping in our own heart belong to the same conversation as the headline sin we love to deplore. If we’re grieving loudly over their sin and quietly excusing ours, we’ve missed the whole point.
To “not even to eat with such a one” sounds harsh, but it’s supposed to sting a little. In Paul’s world, sharing a meal meant fellowship, closeness, the warmth of belonging. Stepping back from the table was the family’s most pointed way of saying something is wrong here, and we love you too much to pretend it isn’t. It was grief with a purpose. Paul says elsewhere to treat such a person “not as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.” Every painful step is still aimed at the same place all the gentle ones were aimed: bringing him home.
None of this is comfortable, and it isn’t meant to be. To love a church family this honestly costs something real. It asks us to surrender our need to be liked, our preference for keeping things smooth, even our quiet pride in being the easygoing one who never makes anything awkward. This is part of what it means to be a Surrendered Servant: to want what God wants for His people more than we want to stay comfortable among them. And we can only attempt it because we are held up by the same grace of Jesus we’re asking everyone else to walk in!
Today: Set aside a few quiet minutes and ask God to show you the respectable sins, the ones you’ve quietly learned to live with: the sharp word we call honesty, the grasping we call ambition, the grudge we call being principled. Just sit with it in His presence, and let Him love you and tell you the truth at the same time.
Prayer: “Father, I confess that I’m quick to grieve the sins I don’t share and slow to notice the ones I do. Thank You that You deal with me as a beloved child, honest with me because You will never let me go. Give me the humble courage to love my own church family well, and keep us all looking up at the Lamb. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
-PK